Now I'm not going to turn all feminist on you and denounce the institution of marriage, but this book has really got me thinking. The author (same women who wrote Eat, Pray, Love) is a marriage skeptic who is getting married so her partner will be allowed in the country. To prepare herself for marriage (again.. her first ended in divorce) she does a lot of research on the history of marriage, the social constructs of marriage, how to make marriages work, why marriages fall apart, motherhood, etc.
Pretty much, throughout the world and throughout history, marriage sucks for women! They are the ones who primarily give up their passions and dreams and sacrifice more for her husband and kids than most men do. This is changing, but the statistics still aren't good and I don't want to end up giving up everything about myself to make some man happy.
I still want to get married and have kids some day, but I honestly do feel a little more prepared for all that having read this book. I am not finished with it but I would definitely recommend it to anyone, whether you've been married for 50 years or, like me, are still single.
All of this in the spirit of Valentine's Day...
Kelsey
I LOVED this book too Kelsey - read it as soon as it was published. I will say that marriage is not easy. You weren't at the Pancake Pantry that morning when we were talking about it & I gave my 10 cents worth. I absolutely do NOT see the point in getting married in this day and age. I truly don't. For children? Nope - they need good male role models, sure, but they don't need a mom and dad legally attached. For committment? Give me a break. That piece of paper doesn't stop tons of people cheating on their spouses.
ReplyDeleteI will also say this: women have to guard against losing themselves to make a man happy. Most women do not and they are to blame for their predicament! When I met Charles I was who I was and I have always said I don't need him. I don't. I love him like crazy and hopefully we'll always have a good life. But if he leaves or dies, I'll be fine. He is not my be all and end all. I have always done what I wanted to do and he has done what he wanted to do, taking each other into consideration, and not hurting each other. I love to travel to developing places. He doesn't. I go without him. He knows if he says 'no' it won't be good for us. From the beginning we have stated what we need as individuals and I think couples don't concentrate on that in the early years, BEFORE getting hitched! Anyway, as you can see, I feel very, very strongly about this. I was terrified of losing myself and I have fought hard to hold onto her and, together, we have formed a great partnership. Sorry for rambling!
LOVE the blog!